[The picture above shows the hostile treatment of a schoolgirl outside a pub in northern India. She came there that night with her friends who got drunk and started fighting. When people started gathering, they fled leaving her alone. Soon, male inquisitors surrounded her and started questioning and ill treating her. They started grabbing and pushing the hapless teenager.Her clothes were torn off, and she couldn't find any means to escape. Even passers by started to join hands with the aggressors in molesting the young girl. A TV reporter who passed by caught the incident on film and aired it on local channels and did nothing to save the girl.
]
This is a question that I often come across now a days. The recent spree of rapes all over the country has confirmed the precarious position of women in Indian society. This entry is not a definitive attempt to delve deep into the causes and solutions of the problem. I am just trying to figure out the area where a few perspectives intersect.
One of my friends recently told me about her disgusting experience while traveling in a transport bus. She was a small child then. She and her mother got into a crowded bus(you know, typical Kerala Transport bus), and she was invited to share seat with two young men. That was the first encounter with the nasty 'neurotic' male behaviour. She didn't tell anybody about it that time. Later, when she came to know that her friends all had similar experiences, she knew that her's was not a rare case. So what actually is wrong with the people here?, she asks.Women are targeted everywhere- in buses, public places, roads, and even in places of worship. She exhorts everyone to give up silence and speak up. She suggests that if government can do nothing else to prevent rapes, it may legalize prostitution and set up sanctioned brothels to divert 'untamed male impulses' so that at least some children may avoid traumatic pasts.
Dileep, a bank job aspirant who hails from Kannur, says: 'Bitter punishment and strict enforcement are necessary if crimes are to subdue. There is no use in condemning society. Individuals make up society. In instances such as the Delhi rape case, the aggressors should be castrated. This will serve as a deterrent from any such future attempts.'
Kavya, a civil service aspirant, says: 'The problem is inherent in menfolk, even though a few cases involving women are reported. We have heard about reports of fathers raping their daughters. Ever heard about a mother molesting her son? That says it all.' She sounded like a fierce feminist.
Midhun, a psychology graduate, views the issue through an analytic eye. The matter of sexual exploitation is a multifaceted one. Generally, the mentality to 'rape' or 'violate' may have roots in repressed desires or expressions which have not found an outlet. 'Unexpressed emotions never die; they're buried alive and come forth later in uglier ways. In other words, weakness or incapability is the chief reason behind many instances of sexual perversion. This may be inaccessibility to ways of sexual gratification, or belief that one cannot satisfy one's partner and resulting loss in self confidence, or repression owing to pressure of society, etc.'
'Setting up of lawful brothels is one way to reduce the occurrence of rapes' , he says.
Another boy, who confesses having groped a girl in bus, says; 'Society is the culprit. We were framed to this kind of mindset. From my childhood, I have grown seeing films in which women are presented as objects to be enjoyed. In my formative years, I got this message from peers, TV programmes, advertisements and elders. The poems of my language contained descriptions about women physique. Being a man was being rude, strong and forceful. My friends boasted to me about touching a girl and kissing a girl. Initially, I thought it was bad, but gradually I fell into the groove. I have even heard a girl telling with approval: 'boys should be a little mischievous'. In my school days, the 'naughty' boys got everything they wanted. I got jealous of them. Now when I see a beautiful girl, I see it as someone's asset, a thing to be possessed. Society taught me so.'
saying so, he put the entire blame on the society.
To what extent will women-only buses, banks, sites and places help? What do you think?
Whatever analyses we make, whatever steps we take, we cant hide the darkness of our collective psyche.Time and again, it tends to show up. Surface patching doesn't cure cancer. The story of rapes goes on.
lets talk
1. Resmi says:"Our culture has imposed on many of us,
different sets of rule and restrictions which we knowingly and unknowingly are
bound to follow. For instance, if we take in to account the rules imposed on
our women in deciding what and how to wear the clothes.. I heard from a spiritual class that women have
to wear decent dress other wise it can draw attention of men towards us and that will create a lot of trouble. As a non
resident Indian, here I am free to wear whatever I like and I feel more safe than in my own country. No one made a wrong gesture or nobody tried to
do any wrong thing to me since. Most of the days I came home by 10 pm after my class. In our country I really fear to
enter and crowded bus . I was travelling to Tamilnadu by train in a
general compartment. I was sitting opposite
to a short man. His 4 year old daughter
is sitting in his lap and his wife was in
an adjacent seat. After some time he kept
his foot on my foot. At first I thought
that it was an accident so I didn’t care.
Next two or three time he repeated that I gave him a sharp look then he
removed his foot with flirty smile .I never expected a man who was his wife and
daughter sitting nearby do something like this. . I know from one of my
good friends during my college days that when a girl moves about in front of boys, they will discuss about her measures after she passes. Is this our
culture? Will girls ever do like this or
even think like this?"
2. Gireesh says:"I would like to give a reply. First of all, I am not trying to justify rapists. Rape is a crime and rapists should never be pardoned on any grounds. But , I think the following points are worthwhile in this discussion.
@ 'Will girls ever do like this or even think like this' #lol are you kidding?!. Maybe the person who wrote this is 'very special' one of a kind girl. And all her female friends are 'special' too, or simply lying!
Next, about culture. You asked why men ogle or target women. Because that is how men had evolved over generations. Let me ask: who uses cosmetics and beauty-enhancing creams more? Women. Who use ornaments generally? Women. Generally, women are more beauty conscious than men. Why? Women make themselves up to attract men. This motive may be almost an unconscious one, or just a part of their inherited tradition. This is the way women are evolved, whatever the reasons they say. Of course, the trend is changing.But the tradition is still present in our genes. More often we won't admit it. Human beings are more sexually evolved than any other animal. The evolution of breasts in women is an example in point. In all other animals, breasts serve the only purpose of feeding the young ones. But in humans, they have more sexual significance. Women use them to signal their sexual health; use them to attract males; and fondling them may arouse sexual stimulation in humans, unlike in other animals. Men have also evolved in accordance with these developments in women.
The next question is about men making undue sexual advances. This question comes along with the above point. In primitive societies, if males wouldn't willingly donate sperms, it was difficult for propagation of the species. Females could do nothing if the males weren't attracted.That may be the primary reason why nature made males sexually more aggressive. The differences in attitudes of both sexes that we see today(e.g. women forming the weaker sex, increased visual stimulation in men) owes its origin in primitive societies..
Next comes cultural and regional differences. You said you felt less vulnerable as a NRI. Let me tell you, a lot of factors influence the general attitude of public. In Trivandrum, if you are a female, it is unsafe to be out after 9'O clock. But in Bangalore, girls in tight T's and skin-fit trousers may be seen walking about in the city alone or in groups even at midnight."
3. Sabari says: "This kind of male chauvinistic attitude is the main cause for the growing rape culture in our country. Recently, in a survey conducted by 'Partners for Prevention', a regional joint programme of the UNDP, reveals that nearly one out of four Asian men admitted to having committed a rape. Many of them, as the person above, seem to believe in sexual entitlement- the belief that some men are entitled to sex regardless of consent. I have only one thing to say. Friend, primitive men ate raw meat. Does that imply that we eat raw meat too? Man, we are living in a civilized society. Here people have the right to live freely and peacefully. If you have impulses, find a way to gratify them in a socially approved manner, without hurting anybody. Many of your arguments are stupid. You say women adorn themselves to attract males. This is downright stupid. It is more a matter of making yourself presentable, agreeable and clean. I don't think sex has anything to do here. Attitudes like yours are borne by potential rapists."
